Medieval, Middle Ages Pick Up Lines

Milady, I bet you'd look nice in some maternity armor.

Mmmmmm....I love a girl who bathes at least once a month...

My cave or yours?

My goat bite is no longer infected, so would you like to dance?

No one can win over your affections, for I am the hunk with the trunk.

Oh fair maiden with lips of fire, blesseth thee with thy bosoms.

Say, does the cloak match the tabard?

Say, Princess, I'm very good at poking people with long, pointy objects.

That’s a knife on his armor? Or are you happy to see me?

They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.

They say a knight is always as hard as his armor.

Tis not a dagger in my purse, m'lady.

Wanna polish my pike?

Wanna see my sword?

We will make the most handsome of children.

What a fine gown you wear, my lady. Perchance couldst I talk you out of it?

What a fine gown you’re wearing, my lady. Perchance may I talk you out of it?

What is a Princess like you in a Dungeon like this?

What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?

When I was put on the rack in the inquisition, my limbs weren't the only things that got stretched.

Why storm the castle when we can make our own?

Would you care to see my longsword in action?

Would you like me to demonstrate the speed of my fleche?

Would you like to come and wield my two-handed sword, milady?

Wow, that's some blade you've got; mind if I touch it?

Yes, I am indeed a wizard. Watch me make your clothes disappear!

Yes, I’m a magician. Watch me disappear clothing!

You can place your greeves under my pallet anytime.

You don’t know where a lone Knight could cover his sword, isn’t it?

You hit on me harder than the black plague!

You make me so hot, I think I need a course of leeches.

You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?

You wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could sheath his sword, would you?

Your Birthing Hips will ensure my bloodline will continue.

Your breastplate alone must've depleted five iron mines.

Your chastity belt would look great on the floor of my sleeping chamber.

Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me cross.

Your Personality is horrendous but our Family's political alliance is for the good of the kingdom.

Your poorly thatched hut, or mine?

Your so beautiful, you have to worth more then three cows...